Last night, having powered down all the dark equipment that still responds to our commands, and sent all our underlings to their hanging cages for mandatory dream-programming, we opened up the Earbud Lair skylight and were struck by the awesome presence of strange harmonies in the purple-black sky. Something about the stars seemed…right. With a mixture of fanboy excitement and soul-draining dread we looked over and yes, the moon was gibbous; and we knew what was about to happen.

Mighty psionic waves overrode our will, as crashing water might flatten a hill of sand, heedless of the inconsequential grains swept before its primal power. We were suddenly helpless, subservient, reverential, and ecstatic, and from deep within us, a dark, alien speech seized our tongue and we spoke in one voice as vessels for a cosmic force whose very being rendered all our feints at civilization a pitiful shadowplay.

The sounds cannot be rendered in these letters, but in our speech the message we spoke was: “We will release this on Earbud Theater…we will release this on Earbud Theater…” And as a cloud obscured the moon, our minds were our own once again, though cracked like a pane of glass, forever changed, forever on the precipice of total collapse. And this strange new .mp3 was in our feed…



written by Sean Hoade

Original Release Date: May 14, 2016

Down in the ocean near Antarctica, something stirs. A strange, cataclysmic shockwave explodes across the entire globe, suddenly killing hundreds of millions, driving many more into insanity, and leaving all the nations of the world frantically searching for answers. Politicians, soldiers, scholars, and cult leaders struggle to respond as civilization seems to be collapsing hour after hour, while a select few begin to notice a similarity between the unfolding events and the prophecies of a long-dead horror writer…Earbud Theater is proud to share this exclusive excerpt from the brand-new audiobook version of author Sean Hoade’s acclaimed Lovecraft mythos-inspired novel Cthulhu Attacks! – Book 1: The Fear, produced and narrated by our own Nicholas Thurkettle.

Buy Cthluhu Attacks! – Book 1: The Fear at:

The book is also available in paperback and eBook forms, and check out Sean’s website for more of his current and upcoming books!

Music: Pianochocolate Spacetime, used under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial License

[ Stream/Download]

Copyright for all Earbud Theater episodes are held by the original episode authors, effective the date of the episode’s original release. Earbud Theater uses sound effects and music that are either licensed by the editors and our producers of individual episodes, made available through a Creative Commons License at sites such as and Free Music Archive. Our shows are free and ad-free, and so wouldn’t be possible without the incredible creativity and generosity of these artists and the artists who directly participate in our podplays.

If you have an idea or script you would like to contribute to Earbud, or if you have created music or artwork that you believe fits what we do, we’d love to hear from you. E-mail us at earbudtheater(at) for contributor guidelines.

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Audio Dramas of the Strange and Unusual


Since 2012, the denizens of the underground Earbud Theater Lair have been delivering strange sonic tales of monsters, aliens, and the terror that might be under your own roof. Our world is full of entertainment, but how much of it truly inspires the imagination? Earbud Theater is run by veterans of the film and television business in Hollywood who set out to show that you could stimulate minds without big budgets and eye candy. They must have been mad to try. MAD.

So dim the lights, turn up the volume. Close your eyes – unless you’re driving. If you’re driving, stop reading this now. Really. Are the drivers gone? Good. Everyone else, use the buttons above to start one of our podplays. Or take a look at the Earblog and learn a little about who we are and what we do. But not about our plans for world conquest. Oh no, you’ll never learn about those…

Let us tell you a story. And if you find yourself wondering, or worrying, or just staring at our strange world from newly un-scaled eyes, just remember – it’s all in your head…